Crazy awesome list of random things…
1. Try and make babies. It’s ok to fail.
2. Stay away from all things ginger.
3. Punch random midgets in the kneecap.
4. Don’t laugh while attempting #3.
5. Get a twitter account.
6. Facebook is getting old. Reminds me of Myspace. Go do #5.
7. If your parents are awesome, tell them.
8. Help friends out who help you. Screw the lazy ones. Unless they are a good friend. Then its ok.
9. Road rage is cool. Unless it involves an elderly person. Give them a break.
10. Don’t buy someone a beer. Because beer is gross. Get them a Pepsi.
11. Number your socks. Or buy a ton of GPS trackers and tag them. The Sock Monster does exist. This will be proof.
12. Don’t talk in the car while your friend is ordering Taco Bell. 13. Sarah Palin is a joke. This is true. Just read her quotes.
14. True Blood is probably the greatest tv show ever. Want proof? It’s got more fags than Twilight but it’s not gay.
15. President Obama is really not that bad. I didn’t vote for him and I now regret it. Get off the tv and actually look into things. Once you do that, you may think differently of him. But Haters gonna Hate regardless.
16. Way too many religions exist in the world. It’s about time they get together and create a mega religion. Kinda like when all the Marvel Comic character’s united and joined forces. #Powerhouse 17. Repeat #7.
18. Go watch the next Avenged Sevenfold concert in Ohio. Do it. You will be amazed. Even if you are a hater.
19. Life on earth needs to be cherished. Never forget this is your only stab at it.
20. Have you ever wondered what the sperm from a Sperm Whale tastes like?
21. Find someone who believes in Dinosaurs and then ask them if they believe in the Bible. If they say yes then get ready for an awkward moment.
22. Dreams will come true. As long as you keep them semi-real. 23. Google is the greatest thing on the internet. My blog is a close 2nd .
24. The next time someone texts you a basic question about anything that’s not personal. Text back “Google”
25. Now you see why #23 is true. 26. Don’t hate gays. They don’t hate straights.
27. Gas prices will always suck. You will always buy gas. Stop complaining.
28. Watch South Park. Laughing only makes life better.
29. Petition for HGTV to be removed.
30. Never forget how big the Universe is and how small and insignificant you are in comparison.
31. Have I mentioned how great Twitter is???
32. Speaking of great… You DO have Netflix?? Right???
33. Don’t bitch about people helping out the needy in 3rd world countries instead of America. Because more than likely you are doing neither.
34. Would Unicorns be real if millions of people believed in them?
35. Finally, this is my list of randomness. Don’t hate it. Don’t like it. But thanks for reading it
This is my take on the OSU fiasco.
Most of you know that I am a Michigan fan. With that being said, I am not sitting back laughing at OSU right now. Remember the average Michigan fan isn’t on the same dumbshit brainwashed level as the average OSU fan. Want proof? Go back and look at Facebook about a year ago. Back when USC was in trouble. What did I have to say? Nothing. But Facebook was on fire with all of the comments that the average dumbshit brainwashed OSU fans were saying. Then again that is what most sore losers do. Recently USC beat Michigan pretty bad in 2 Rose Bowl games. Sure it sucked to lose, but it happens. But then USC beat OSU in 2 regular season games and those fucktard OSU fans just can’t seem to let that go. So of course they activate there soreloserness and jump on USC when they had the chance. Bravo dipshits. Bravo. Wow you sure look pretty dumb now that your team was doing the same thing as them. Haha. I love it. Moving on…
I actually feel bad for Jim Tressel. And holy shit I never thought I would say that. He has done nothing but whip my school just about every year. Half of his wins against us have been by less than a touchdown. But the most recent ones are the easiest to remember. And they have been ugly. If he would have stayed as coach, eventually the tides would have turned. It’s been that way for a hundred years. But I don’t like to argue “If” topics. Sadly most sports fans do. Maybe it makes them feel better??
Now why do I feel bad?
Lets see here…
1. When it came to the rules, he didn’t “play by the book.” And that’s fine by me. News flash: the top college programs do the same things. They are in a system that is against them. In order to succeed, they have to go outside the box. I do not fault them. I blame the NCAA. So Tress did what was needed. I do think he recruited a couple too many “thug” players. But that really isn’t anything to complain about.
2. He was a great coach who brought a high level of competition to the Big 10. He quickly became the King of the Hill and he dethroned himself. That’s some high quality shit right there.
3. During his reign, there really wasn’t anything to rag on him about. Sure I found ways to pick at OSU when they got blown the f out twice in those Nat Champ games. But lets keep this shit semi real. I was rooting for the Bucks both times. I always go for the Big 10. Even for my arch nemesis. I really don’t hate OSU. Seriously I don’t. I love the rivalry and I root for them all the time. Except when that one Saturday rolls around in November. His teams won every year. OSU always played in a top bowl game and won most of them. He turned out a bunch of high quality 1 st and 2 nd round picks in the NFL. And he dominated the undisputed greatest college football team of all time. How many other OSU coaches can say that?
4. And finally… He did nothing wrong. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Now I won’t be lame like most OSU fans and say well every other team does it so blah blah blah. While this is true, it doesn’t matter at the fact at hand. OSU lost a great coach. It will be a blow to the University. It will tarnish some of those great years. It will make the rest of the nation laugh. Just because other teams are doing it and not getting caught (yet) doesn’t make it better for OSU. So give that argument up. I probably should look more into the whole subject, but I believe the “worst” thing Tress might have done was hide those emails. But seriously that just shows how fucked up this world can be. He caught wind that a couple players may be receiving illegal benefits. He felt he should protect them. I don’t see any wrong with that. Sure the NCAA does, but fuck those pricks. They think it’s cool for these athletes to bring in millions upon millions, repeat, millions upon millions but not give them some side money to help them through these 4 broke ass years that they go through.
The Tressel era shouldn’t have ended this quickly. He easily had 10-15 years left. Who know he may have been the next Joe Pa. I love sports and I love competition and Tressel was clearly the man at OSU. I really will hate to see him go. Hopefully the next coach they hire is more like him and less like Rich Rod.
Paging Urban Meyer..
I am going to go out on a limb and say that I may have a different take on the events of Sunday May the 1st.
Osama Bin Laden is dead. When I found out, I didn’t even flinch. I can imagine a different reaction on May 1st 2002.
They attacked us. They accomplished just about everything they wanted to on one simple day. Our country hasn’t been the same since. We changed laws. Traveling now mega sucks. The majority of the country now lives in fear of terrorists. They truly TERRORIZED us. They won. We killed the ring leader 10 years later. 10 Fucking years. Not something to cheer about. Killing him doesn’t stop anything. Sure I do agree that it is nice that he is gone. But I really don’t see any reason to chant USA. I’m not a sore loser. I hate to lose. But USA, you lost this. Stop holding up the #1 finger on TV. It’s like the kid at school who is always picked last in dodgeball. But this one time he is picked 1st, just so he will feel good. What does he do. Yep he goes home and feels good. Sorry kid, but you suck at dodgeball. One small event shouldn’t make you feel good.
Has justice been done? I think so. But.. Does this bring closure to the lost loved ones from 9/11. No. Does this stop terrorism? No. Do we stop living in fear? No. Do laws change? No. Does traveling get easier? No. What is different now? Nothing. Yet people are on the streets celebrating. Remember when 9/11 happened and the people in the streets over there were celebrating the deaths of many Americans? I watch the news and get deja vu. Oh, but we are cheering for one death that took 10 years, which is 10 years too many. Twitter and Facebook are on fire. I can’t help but think it’s ridiculous.
Oh really quick. Can anyone guess one of the main reasons 9/11 happened? Is Religion a correct answer? Think so. Yet people over here are all about saying God Bless America. Speechless
Back to the blog. Finally.
Good news people. Our President isn’t a Muslim. Yay. Cool. Super. Awesome. More like Blah. What the hell is wrong with people. Look I love conspiracy theories, probably more than the next guy. I might even believe a couple. I didn’t even vote for Obama. Yet still I never had a thought that he wasn’t an American. How sad is it that with what this country is currently going through, he was basically forced to provide a document proving this. It’s pathetic. And it makes all of you dumb shits who went along with this (then again, these are probably the same people who don’t believe in Global Warming) almost Westboro Baptist Crazy. That’s not a good comparison.
Now you have Donald “Are you fucking serious? You might actually run for president?” Trump claiming he was the reason that the White House finally provided the long-form birth certificate. That’s just so cool Donald. I guess it’s good that you claim victory on this worthless subject. Because when it comes to politics, it’s the only thing you’ll ever “win” at.
Obama said it best “The country does not have time for the “distraction” and “silliness” of the issue.” I guess we do. Sure gas prices suck, but I need proof of this here birth certificate before we can discuss anything else.
Speaking of gas prices. Just a quick fyi….The President doesn’t control the gas price. I know, this should be common sense. But sadly most people lack this. Have you ever heard of OPEC? If the answer is no, then please do yourself a favor and just pump gas and never blame anyone again. Well what about foreign policy? Well what about it? Still doesn’t control the price.
Here is the breakdown for a dollar of gas according the the US Department of Energy. Taxes get 13 cents (State and Federal). Distributing and Marketing get 8 cents. Refining gets 14 cents. Crude oil gets 65 cents. Crude oil is the meat and potatoes, and it’s controlled by OPEC. Our federal tax on gas is much lower than most countries. So it doesn’t make much sense to blame that.
I’ll be back, hopefully sooner than later.
This will be a new type of blog for me. I’ll be ranting. Giving my worthless opinion the whole time. Hopefully all goes well and I can do one of these a week. Time to rant…
Westboro Baptist Church –Wow these people impress me with there non stop stupidity. Homer Simpson should be the leader of the pack. That would make sense. Google them if somehow you have never heard of these dipshits. They pretty much don’t like anyone. Especially gays. Because gay people are clearly so evil… They claim that God hates gays. Really? I don’t remember reading this in the bible. Do you? But you can check out Deuteronomy 22:13-21. That section of the bible advises you to stone your wife at your doorstep if she had sex before marriage. Thank gosh people don’t abide by that bible law. America would be an empty country. I guess God did intend for people to pick and choose what parts of the bible they should obey… ( I see you hiding Old Testament ;)
Back to Westboro. They specialize in picketing. Even Funerals. Really? Nothing like having your teenage child beaten to death because he was gay, now you have to put up with these morons outside the funeral home. Life is grand isn’t it. Thankfully a couple of states have banned picketing at a funeral within 500 feet. Why this ban isn’t nationwide is beyond me. And don’t give me the whole freedom of speech bullshit. That wasn’t the purpose of it. Go ahead of the tell the President that he is a dick eating ball smacker to his face.. See what happens. Oh and plead freedom of speech… Instead states are more concerned about banning the teaching of science in schools. Really? Let’s not let the children learn factual truth, nah that’s just silly. Instead lets make it ok for them to walk home from school and see the dumbshits picketing about gays. Yeah that will make them so much smarter… The news today says that they are planning on picketing at Elizabeth Taylor’s funeral. I guess because she had gay friends and she donated a couple million dollars to an Aids foundation. Yeah God hates this person. How dare she choose to not judge, as God told her to. How dare she donate money to help save people. Now let’s go and make her family feel like even more shit by picketing at her funeral. Well done Westboro, well done…
Hello all. Here are some quick tidbits of info about my upcoming blogs… First and foremost, they are going to be awesome. They might ruffle some feathers, but it will be ok. Life goes on. If I happen to offend you, sorry, now get over it. As I always say, these are just my thoughtless opinions. Nothing more. You also have opinions :) I just happen to blog about mine. Ready.Set.Blog.
The worst part about having at least 1000 countless thoughts in this mega smart brain of mine is picking a couple out to blog about. I compare it to the invasion of an egg after I release my baby Einsteins. Sure at the end of the day, only one wins. But its not like the others weren’t worthy of discussion. They probably would have been a great kid, or a re-re (or maybe that’s why they didn’t make it). Regardless, they will not be forgotten.
Lets start with people who complain. I must say it is perfectly fine to complain. Hell I even complain sometimes, though I try not to. Complaining is like praying. Seriously, lets compare the two. I’ll start with praying. Now just in case anyone is wondering, I have easily prayed thousands of times. And for thousands of different things. I can honestly say that maybe, and I mean maybe 5 prayers have been “answered.” What’s that you say? “You must be praying for the wrong things then?” Well I guess I have never read the damn Prayer Rule Book. That could be the reason for my less than stellar .005% prayer success rate. Then again, I thought that praying for a family member to get healthy was in the handbook. Now back to complaining. Here is an example: Everyone knows someone who complains about people having more money than them and or not having enough money. Keep complaining because it’s not going to change the fact at hand. Nor will praying. So yeah, they are kinda the same thing: Pointless. If you want more money, get a better job or a second job. Learn to save and manage money. They more than likely have money because they are able to do this. Maybe rob a bank. Not recommended, but if done right, will bring you closer to your goal. Another example. People complaining about the weather. Sure keep bitching, the snow will melt faster. I’m sure it will work. Maybe a quick prayer to lower the heat index. Nah, don’t bother. Though I never thought about combing forces. Next time the rain is pissing you off, don’t go inside or buy a umbrella. Just say a prayer, but complain the whole time. End it with a fist pump and a hallelujah.
Another day, another blog. Real quick, whenever someone says “Another day, another dollar” do they seriously only make a dollar a day? Hell even homeless people in America get more than a dollars worth of change thrown at them daily. Pretty sure Joe Schmo made more than a dollar that day, so maybe we should figure out what he is trying to hide. From now on when someone says that, stone that motherf*cker until they give in and reveal what they really made that day. Or Just ask them. But I do carry a duffel bag full of stones in the trunk of my car just in case. Maybe you should too.
I’m going to go ahead and keep these blogs mega pointless, so I’ll be blogging about people that hoard.
Most of you have watched or heard of the tv show Hoarders. I love that show. There have many nights when they do a marathon and I can not seem to stop watching. These people crack me up. Now for the most part, I do not feel bad for these people. I understand that some of them have an illness and I’m not talking about being addicted to hoarding. Those people can slide, everyone else, nah you make me laugh. And I am thankful for that. Laughing is a beautiful part of life and I enjoy laughing.
I live in Marysville, which most of you know. Season 1 of Hoarders featured a family from Marysville. Of course I watched the episode. I immediately recognized the family, from seeing them in town at one time or another. I never would have imagined that they never heard of a trash bag. Crazy I tell you. Eventually, I decided to drive by the house to see if anything had changed since the tv show. There is an answer to this question and the answer is NO. My one friend who is a ginger (remember, there can only be one) went with me. Needless to say we both laughed for awhile as we drove less than 1mph around the house. I didn’t mind stopping and staring, especially for a good laugh.
Besides people being obviously crazy, I think I know why these people have this unusual addiction of hoarding. They must be… blind, deaf, illiterate, and delusional. I know this sounds just like summed up President Bush, but I am truly referring to people that hoard on the tv show. I’ll clue you in to why I feel this way.
Blind –they obviously can not see that they live in a big pile of mega shit. Sometimes its actual shit, more than likely from cats ( I won’t even mention that a hoarder has clearly lost the sense of smell), but still disturbing. Also, how can they not see that 90% of the house is so packed that they can not even get through the doorways to get into other rooms. And the remaining 10% is only navigable via a 5 inch walkway.
Deaf –What’s that you hear? Oh that’s the sound of you stepping and sleeping on heaps of 3 year old trash. But I forgot you must be deaf, because you can’t hear this. Wait, do I hear something else? Oh yeah that’s your children who come over to help clean, but you can’t hear them. All you can do is explain to them why you must keep this broken mirror. Gotcha…
Illiterate –Hello, I’m a hoarder. And I can’t read. My fridge is full of 5 year old lunchables. Sure the package says they expired 4 years ago, but duh silly, I don’t understand that. So I’m just going to keep them in my fridge. Along with the 3 gallons of spoiled milk, because I just can’t seem to make out the date on it either. Let’s not forget that I do not have a sense of smell, so of course it smells like flowers when I open the fridge. What’s that on my front door? Just a letter from the city. If I could read I would realize that they are telling me to clean this place, or I will be evicted in 30 days. Who knew?
Delusional –My house is a disaster. I have dead cats in some of the rooms upstairs. I don’t really know they are dead but I haven’t seen them in years and my staircase is so full of complete and useless shit that I can’t make my up there. I sleep on a pile of magazines and used paper towels in my hallway, and of course I’m ok with that. I would like to cook, but I don’t have access to that half of my kitchen. Plus it seems my cats that are still kicking have made a place to do the #2, and its on my stove.
Hoarders are nuckin futs. Plain and simple. That’s all.